Lily's Mission
by IndianaBliss
Summary: Lily Evans dies to save her son, after watching him fail at the task Dumbledore left for him she gets the chance to go back in time and save the Wizarding World. Set with a charge, she finds herself falling in love with the wrong man. SS/LE AU
1. Chapter 1

I've seen a lot of "Severus goes back in time" fics but not a lot of "Lily goes back in time" fics. This is my version of that, the first few chapters will be just Lily, then she'll get her chance to change things. So tell me if you like it, what I should change, blah blah blah. PM me with suggestions!

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><p>She placed her baby, her son, into his crib and turned bravely to face the man who threatened her child. She saw him mouth the words but she couldn't hear what he said, before long the room filled with a green light and she was lying on a floor. First thing she did was take in her surroundings, everything was so white. So white in fact she almost felt a headache coming on, 'Wait a second, I thought I died. I shouldn't be able to get headaches in death. That's just totally unfair'. Next thing she realized was that she was naked, when she tried to cover herself up with her hands and arms some fresh robes appeared in front of her so she carefuly stood up and drapped herself in, what she was considering to be, the warmest most comfortable robes she had ever felt.<p>

As she tried to look around she realized she was in King's Cross Station, or what appeared to be a shell of the station. No people, no trains, no rubbish on the walkways. Quite nice actually. If she wasn't dead already, what she saw next would have almost killed her, "Dad!", she ran into her father's arms, having not seen him in three years she hadn't realized how much she missed him.

"Dad! What are you doing here? Are you supposed to lead me on? What about Harry! Oh dad, I wish you could have met him. I named him after you, Harry James Potter. He's just lovely daddy." So many questions were sprinting out of her mouth at once while tears streamed down her face, her dad began to answer them without letting her go from his fierce hug and rubbing gentle circles on her back,

"Well sweetheart, you've died unfortunately. You've sacrificed your life for your son, and thankfully he's alive. I've seen him love, he's just so handsome. Oh how I've missed you my Lily, but we need to talk first." Harry Evans removed his daughter from his strong hold and looked at her with a seriousness he rarely possessed with his little girl.

"You see dearest that man, Voldemort, he killed James and then tried to kill you but because you sacrificed yourself for your son, Harry lives. This is the afterlife, it is what you make it. I'm here to escort you onwards." Harry Evans said softly.

"Dad, can I go see Harry before we leave? Please" There was a mix of begging and sadness in Lily's eyes, as if finally realizing what was going on.

"Lily, I'm not sure you really want to do that right now, plus we can view the ones we love from where we are going" Harry almost seemed to be pleading with his daughter.

"What do you mean, what's going on right now? Just please, let me see him!"  
>Lily turned around and saw a pensive about 5 feet to her left and walked towards it, she had experienced the feeling of being sucked into a memory before. Professor Albus Dumbledore had taken a few members of the Order of the Phoenix into some of Tom Riddle's memories so they could get a better grasp of what they were doing. The sensation wasn't new but what she saw was completely unexpected.<p>

She saw her baby in his crib with a lightning scar on his forehead, she went to touch him and just like everything in a pensieve memory she just went right through him. Not being able to touch him was worse than being dead, she heard someone coming up the stairs and was hoping someone had arrived to take her son away. She turned to look at the door way and saw one Severus Snape stumbling into the room.

He collapsed at the sight of her dead body, he was barely breathing as he gently brushed some of her hair from her face and was almost convulsing from crying so hard.

Lily had no idea what to do, she hadn't seen him in years and here he was grieving so fiercely at the sight of her. She sunk to the floor next to him as he let out scary almost, soulless howls of anguish. Lily carefully placed her hand on top of his head as so many questions ran rampant through her mind, 'Why was he doing this, why was he so sad, oh Sev what's wrong' she had long given up on their friendship, on saving him from the darkness that called him. She was able to guess that he fancied her as children, but never thought it was this serious. If she was honest with herself she had been in love with this man since they were 11 years old, he introduced her to this world. He was the only one from before her new life of magic that she remained friends with. Unfortunately going to Hogwarts was the worst thing for their friendship. Eventually he called her that horrible word, but she had forgiven him for that long ago. She knew he joined the Death Eaters, but still continued to read the paper for his name. She heard from Professor Slughorn earlier the previous month that he was retiring and that Severus was taking his job as Potions Master and head of Slytherin House. This confused her greatly, surely a man as powerful and intelligent as Dumbledore wouldn't be fooled by Severus Snape, he wouldn't allow a Death Eater to join the ranks of professors at Hogwarts. It didn't take her long before she was able to put two and two together.

About a month or two after she became pregnant with Harry, her and James were put into hiding from 'intelligence' they received from inside Voldemort's camp. Dumbledore had said that a very reliable source had told him that their lives were in danger, that they must sneak away from the world for a while so he could figure out what to do next. He continued to gain information that eventually led to him admitting he had a spy amongst Voldemort's inner circle.

It was obvious after hearing Slughorn's news that Severus Snape was the man relaying Dumbledore the information. He was the one who had asked Dumbledore to keep her family safe, he was probably going to Hogwarts on his master's orders. It was obviously some great game the three of them were playing, with Severus in the middle.

Now seeing him, so torn up over her death, it was also obvious he loved her too.

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><p>All characters belong to the wonderful JK Rowling, I'm just borrowing them for a bit!<br>A lot of this was taken from the Prince's Tale and from King's Cross chapters of the Deathly Hallows.  
>Read and review!<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

The characters do not belong to me, they belong to JK Rowling and I am just sticking them into some situations that I think could have been interesting!

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><p>She felt the familiar sensation of someone pulling her upwards, she lifted her head out of the pensieve and saw her father's sad face looking back at her. He was a tall man with broad shoulders, he had brown hair and green almond shaped eyes. Petunia got her father's hair and she got her father's eyes. She had always been a daddy's girl, she loved watching horror movies with him, reading mystery novels, listening to rock music. He was an extraordinarily kind, always great with his hands. Her father could build anything, he even built her a tree house in the back yard, he built her a jewelry case and painted a white lily on the top. It never held jewelry, but it held her most prized possessions. Her Hogwarts acceptance letter, her father's Rolex watch, her mother's pearl earrings, a teardrop shaped emerald necklace, her wedding ring and a sonogram of Harry from the muggle doctor she insisted on seeing.<p>

"I told you, it probably isn't best for you to be down there right now. Don't worry Lils, someone will come soon and take him away."

"Dad, did you see? Did you see Severus, I just don't k-know what to d-do"  
>She started feeling light headed and wasn't sure what to do next, feeling tears coming she was trying not to lose it. Her dad supported her shoulders and started walking with her toward a train, she walked on board the train and sat down. She glanced outside the window and saw the white King's Cross station flashing before her eyes so quickly it made her head spin. Her father reached across the seat and handed her a blanket and told her to relax, to rest. She closed her eyes and rested her head on the seat.<p>

The next time she opened her eyes she was in a bed, a very large and very comfortable bed. She looked around, taking in her surroundings and found herself in a rather big room that looked like a mixture between her Gryffindor dorm rooms and her bedroom back home with her parents. Her bed was circular and red with four point poster hangings like at Hogwarts with the writing desk her father built her when she was younger. Her books and records were in a bookshelf in a corner and she saw a large dresser on the wall. There were three walls and the fourth wall was a window, she suddenly felt self-conscious about someone possibly seeing her. As she went to get out of bed she felt sore and groggy, like she had slept too long. That's when she heard the voice coming from the door way,

"Don't worry sweets, you can see outside the window but they can't see in"  
>Lily turned her head so fast she realized just how sore her head was,<p>

"Mum! Oh mum I missed you!" She ran into her mother's arms and held her close,

"Oh Lily, we've missed you too. I'm so sorry my poor baby girl, you had to leave the world so young. It just isn't fair, your poor son. I'm so ashamed of Petunia"

Lily glanced up at her mother's sad face wondering what she meant, being ashamed of Petunia.  
>"What do you mean mum? What does Petunia have to do with anything?"<p>

Lily's mum sat down on her bed and gestured for Lily to sit on the chair next to her desk, what Lily's mum explained next was a rather large shock.

Peter Pettegrew faked his own death and blamed Sirius Black, Harry's godfather. Framing him for killing muggles, Sirius was sent to Azkaban and was unable to take Harry after Lily and James' death. So, to secure Harry's safety, he was sent to a blood relative of Lily's. Petunia and Vernon Dursley were now in charge of Harry Potter.

"Oh mum I'm sure it isn't that bad, sure Petunia has never been fond of my magic but this is my son. She'll be fine once she gets to know him, in a few years he'll be just fine."

What Lily didn't know was that she had slept for more than a few years according to time back on Earth. She had slept for about 4 years.

Lily's mum told her that she would be waiting down stairs when she wanted to talk some more, that Lily would need to get dressed and probably go find James if she would like to.  
>So Lily walked to the dresser, put on a simple blue summer dress with nude color flats and headed down stairs and out the front door.<p>

The afterlife was a strange place, at least Lily thought so. Houses everywhere, large expanses of grass and parks where people were sitting around and chatting. Strange, how people looked so much healthier in death. Lily began to wander around after taking a glance at her parent's house, it was exactly like the house she grew up in. The one her father built. A simple two story home, yellow with white trimming and a lovely garden in the front with a patio wrapping around the home. She started walking toward one of the parks just looking for James, she knew she needed to find him and hoped he would want to speak to her.

They had been fighting since they were sent into hiding. A true Gryffindor, James wanted to fight the Death Eaters and not be forced to sit behind locked doors with wards surrounding them. He would often speak of how unfair it all was, how Sirius and Peter and Remus were out fighting for the Light while he was stuck inside like a sitting duck. Lily did agree with him on one point, she thought that they should have kept moving that they were sitting ducks while sitting in one place all the time.  
>She often wondered why he chose her to chase after during their time at Hogwarts, they had little if anything in common. He was a pure blood wizard who had never stepped into the muggle world before meeting Lily. He had no idea how to use the television and thought the pictures in her parents house were weird and seemed dead when they weren't moving.<br>They loved each other very much if only for the fact that they had apparently created the savior of the wizarding world, but she often thought that the fates brought them together to make Harry and not much else.

That's when she saw him, he looked the same as the last time they saw each other in life. Same crooked glasses and messy black hair, he was wearing a crooked grin and they walked towards each other slowly and with caution.  
>"It's just not fair James" Lily said while searching his face,<p>

"I know Lils, I know. How much have you seen? I only woke up a few weeks ago, I've been watching Sirius and Harry and sometimes Remus. It's sort of a mess down there" James seemed curious but also glad to see Lily,

"I woke up today, about a few hours ago. I want to see Harry and I want to see Severus" Lily said pointedly.

"Severus? Severus Snape? Why would you want to see him?" There was no accusation in his tone, only curiosity. James long ago realized that he was wrong in how he treated Lily's first best friend, he admitted a long time ago that he should have been nicer to him. A lot might have been different if he had.

"When I first died, my dad met me and I went to go see Harry almost immediately. I saw him, Sev came to the house and was quite upset over my death. I'm just not sure what to think anymore, James"

"Well I'll stay with you to go see Harry, but I'm not sure about Severus. Might be a bit odd, I'm sure you'd like your space anyway"  
>"Thanks, James. We still have a lot to talk about, but first let's go see our son."<p>

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><p>So quite a few people have added this to their favoritesupdates. Thank you so much! I love that people are liking this so far, the next chapter will be a bit longer. I'm thinking of sort of fast forwarding through a lot of Harry's childhood. I have the scene where Lily gets her second chance in my head, but a few things need to happen first. Let me know what you think, I love reviews!


	3. Chapter 3

I realize there isn't much Snily love in this, but next chapter is where Lily is sent back to re-do her life. So stick with me for this one last chapter, then I promise it'll be Snily all the way!

These characters aren't mine, the situations that Harry is put in come from the Harry Potter series as written by JK Rowling.

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><p>What James and Lily saw was rather horrifying, seeing their son being treated like scum beneath the Dursley's well kept shoes was not something any parent wants to see. Their child was living in a broom cupboard, forced to cook and clean for them. The only solace they took was in seeing their son perform accidental magic, his hair would grow at astonishing rates, he could jump to the top of buildings when scared or turn his teacher's hair blue when angry. He was a powerful wizard there was no denying that. They had to sit by while he received Dudley's hand me downs, no presents on Christmas only socks or scraps of toys that had broken from Dudley's new and expensive presents. His birthday was nothing more than a regular day and he often received a tooth brush or comb instead of a proper celebration.<p>

Often times Lily and James would argue about where they would send their new born child to school. Would they home school him or send him to a muggle public school? Lily was adamant on sending him to a muggle school, she often spoke of ignorance being the main reason so many wizards and witches avoided the muggle world. That if they took the time to get to know the others world there wouldn't be as much hatred around.

James often said that Harry wouldn't need to go to a muggle school, he was a wizard and he didn't need to be bothered with basic maths and sciences.

Even in death they continued to find something to argue about, Harry had no friends at his muggle school and it was because he was considered a "freak" by the other kids. This was exactly why James did not want Harry to go to a muggle school, it just wasn't normal.

Lily realized their arguments were silly, but they didn't have much else to talk about. They were both extremely frustrated at their situation. Being able to see their son but not help raise him was horrifying and Lily began to pull away from viewing his life, when she walked home one day she decided to talk to her parents about it,

"I'm just not sure I can do it anymore mum. Seeing him but having to realize that I won't be able to help him? It's torture, I don't even know my son. He doesn't know me, none of my friends have stepped up to help him, he'll be going to Hogwarts in a year but still. I'm just stuck."

"No Lily, I understand. When I passed away it was hard to see the ones I love, especially knowing that you won't be able to help raise your own son. Don't worry though Lily, you will always be his mother. He will always hold a special place for you in his heart."

"I know, I just find myself viewing other people's lives more and more. It's hard to explain" The pain was showing in Lily's face,

"You've been watching over Severus again?" Her mother stated.

"Wait, what? How did you know that? I haven't mentioned anything, have I?" Lily seemed startled by her mom's accusation.

"No Lily you haven't but a mother just knows"

It was true, Severus had started to become as much a part of her daily Earth viewings as Harry had. She knew she would never turn her back on Harry, but she also knew that Severus was struggling. He was devastated after her death, often drinking himself to sleep if he was able to sleep at all. Obviously dealing with a severe depression, he went through his daily motions. He taught potions, dealt with disputes in Slytherin house, worked on medicinal potions for St. Mungo's and the hospital wing, he would spend his holidays at his childhood home on Spinner's End and mostly read. He finally felt like his life would begin to take on meaning with one Harry Potter came back to the wizarding world, Lily and James finally saw their son going through the motions that every 11 year old witch and wizard took part in. He received his wand and purchased his books and robes. He received a snowy owl as a familiar, the same breed of owl that Lily had as a Hogwarts student. Seeing their son be sorted into Gryffindor sent pride and sadness running through both of them, pride at their son becoming a proud lion like his parents but sadness because they couldn't send him a letter congratulating him like most parents could.

Their son had developed a sense of mischief to rival that of his father, sneaking down into the forbidden areas of the castle to rescue the philosopher's stone, finding Ginny Weasley and saving her from Tom Riddle's diary. Seeing Sirius escape from Azkaban was also thrilling but sad, seeing the pain in his eyes when he looked at Harry who looked so much like his father. Both James and Lily were taken aback by Severus' severe reaction when he thought he had captured Sirius Black. Seeing their son fight dragons, swim with merpeople, and battle a maze was all very nerve wracking for two parents even if they were brave Gryffindors. Seeing Lord Voldemort rise again and almost killing their son was horrifying but by the skin on his teeth he escaped, even if not completely the same after seeing his friend Cedric be killed. They were both happy to see the Order of the Phoenix reunite and help keep the prophecy safe from Voldemort but when their son was almost killed again they realized just how real the danger was.

James was called to be Sirius' guide to the after life, he went in a heart beat but was also sad that his best friend had lost his life. Sirius didn't sleep for very long but James was there to see him through the rough patches. One night, all three of them were witnessing Dumbledore searching for one of Voldemort's horcruxes. When he put on the cursed ring his hand seemed to die slowly, Severus was able to rescue some of his hand with a golden potion and he was forcing it down his throat along with potions for the severe pain he was feeling in his hand. All three took a collective breath in when they head the Headmaster tell Severus Snape that he must be the one to kill him, it was the only way to keep the Elder wand safe. Even Sirius had a problem with Severus being used so obviously.

When Dumbledore and Harry returned from the cave with the locket, the three of them saw Severus Snape kill Albus Dumbledore. Even James and Sirius felt badly for Severus, knowing he would be labeled as a coward and a murderer when he was doing someone else's biding.

Suddenly Lily felt called toward someone's house. This wasn't an odd sensation since this is how you contacted people in the afterlife. She walked toward the calling and found herself at Albus Dumbledore's residence, coming face to face with her old Headmaster made Lily feel a lot of things at once. She felt betrayal at how he used Severus and Harry for his "Greater Good" trials. She was curious as to what he wanted to do with her and she let her curiosity be known as soon as he opened the door,

"Headmaster, what is it you need" There was no polite conversation to be had, not tonight.

"Ah, Miss Evans, it is lovely to see you again. Please come in."

"Headmaster, you died only moments ago. How is it you're up and about so soon?"

"Well Miss Evans, that is a story for another time."  
>Never really been one terribly find of his roundabout riddles, she walked inside and saw herself in the Headmaster's office, an exact replica of the one at Hogwarts.<br>"What is it, Headmaster?"

"Miss Evans, I'm afraid your son will not succeed in the task I have left for him." The sadness was showing clearly in Dumbledore's eyes.

Taken aback by his honesty, she felt the need to sit down on one of the chairs seated in front of the fire.  
>"Well it's quite difficult, I just haven't had much time to think about it."<p>

"That is why you are here, Lily. I have made many mistakes but I know that. You on the other hand are pure, brave, strong, and deserving of this chance being offered. Lily, I would like you to go back. Live your life over again. Take this information with you and help put a stop to Voldemort's reign of terror before it truly starts." The twinkling had left his blue eyes a long time ago.

"You want me to go back, Headmaster?" Lily seemed to think it was a joke, what he was saying.

"Yes, go back and try to live a full life"

"Why me sir, why not James or Sirius or yourself. If you don't mind me asking"

"Lily, you are an exceptional person. I am afraid that James or Sirius might make too much of a scene if they were able to go back with everything they know. You will be able to stay quiet, be swift, use your inner Slytherin cunning your Ravenclaw cleverness your Hufflepuff loyalty and your Gryffindor bravery."

"But it would change everything, one little misstep and nothing that I know will be the same" Lily seemed to be thinking a million miles a minute.

"Yes, I'm afraid that's very true. The life you have now, with James and Harry would most likely not exist. The odds of you and James having the same child twice are very small. This is ultimately your decision. You have the information, not all of it would be clear to you but you would know you were reliving your life. The information you have about the horcruxes and his power would remain with you, it's just about how you play your cards."

"That's asking a lot, sir, you're asking me to give up my life my child my husband."

"If you succeed Lily, you would be able to keep your child and your husband. Go back, help save Severus from the darkness. Rid the world of Voldemort before he is able to tear any families apart. Do it so your future children can live without fear."

Lily's head was spinning, he was asking so much of her. Could she part with this, all of this? She slowly stood up and walked out of Dumbledore's house, not really caring about manners at this moment. She walked back to her house and sat on her bed, she placed her head in her hands and when she looked up she saw a pensieve and thought of Harry. She saw him suffering from the loss of the ones he loved, Sirius, Dumbledore, his parents. His friends in constant danger because of the large price put on his head. All of these pressures before he was even of age in the wizarding world. She saw her friend going close to madness from killing the Headmaster, he was no longer the proud Slytherin she used to know. He was a shell of his former self.

Lily decided right then and there, even if it meant giving up what she knew. She had seen enough, she would sacrifice herself for the greater good. Go back and save the wizarding world before Voldemort had a chance to destroy it again.

She fell asleep on her bed for the last time and woke up in her real dorm room, being shaken awake by her friend Mary MacDonald,  
>"That creepy Snape kid actually did it Lily, he slept outside like he said he would if you didn't go speak to him"<br>"What? What are you doing here? What are you talking about? Mary?"

"Lily? Are you alright?"

Mary began to snap her fingers in Lily's face to try and make her focus, but Lily didn't realize she would make the transition so fast. She figured she would have a couple of days to think about a plan, maybe come up with a strategy or two but apparently not. She sat up in her bed and glanced at her calendar. She realized what Mary was talking about, she had her Defense Against the Dark Arts O.W.L. the day before. The day Severus called her a mudblood. She quickly changed into her uniform and brushed her hair and her teeth before taking off downstairs to see him, to see Severus Snape.

She walked outside the Fat Lady's portrait and saw him slumped down against the wall, fast asleep.


	4. Chapter 4

These are not my characters, they belong to JK Rowling and she did a fantastic job. I'd just like to change some things for my own bit of fun ;)

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><p>She crept outside the portrait slowly, not wanting to wake him just yet. There were so many things she wanted to say to him, but she needed to be careful. Hindsight was a gift rarely afforded so she had to remain calm so she didn't wake him. Looking back she was able to realize that this was the moment he turned completely to the clutches of the Death Eaters. She was able to realize that she had abandoned their friendship out of fear, she was naïve and not really able to see what damage she could do. Dumbledore had asked her to save Severus from the darkness, she knew why. He was never meant to be there. Without realizing it, she had lowered herself next to his sleeping form and gently moved some hair from his face. She had to remain calm and collected. 'This is what Dumbledore meant by using my cunning Slytherin'.<p>

"Sev" she whispered,

He mumbled something and sat up suddenly, "Lily! Y-you called me Sev"  
>"We need to talk, Sev, but this isn't the place. Follow me."<p>

The two of them walked past the portrait of the Fat Lady and down an abandoned hallway, towards where Lily knew the Room of Requirement would be. She remembered seeing her son practice magic there with his group of friends, Dumbledore's Army. She was glad that most of her memories were remaining but she knew she needed to write them down or preserve them for a pensieve like Dumbledore used to do.

Finally seeing the picture of trolls learning to dance, she walked back and forth three times, thinking of a quiet and private place.

Severus' eyes grew three size seeing a door appear from the wall, after throwing her a curious look he opened the door and walked inside.

There was a large couch and some breakfast on a small table all in front of a roaring fire. Lily sat down first and motioned for Severus to join her, he looked at her apprehensively and sat down staring straight ahead.

"Look Sev,-"

Severus cut her off quickly,

"No, Lily, it's ok. You shouldn't ever speak to me again. I just wanted to tell you how horrible I feel. I'm so sorry Lily"

"Stop, just look at me will you?" Lily cut off Severus before he could finish his rant,  
>He slowly turned his head to face her and she felt a tenderness for him she hadn't felt in years, looking at him in real life, being able to touch him. It was quite overwhelming. She wanted to spill everything, he might be able to help her. She also knew that before her sat a very scared 16 year old boy. He needed her guidance more than her affection right now.<p>

"Look, Sev, we need to talk. What's going on in your life it's just not ok, you know that. You must know that. You called me that word, it's from hanging out with those future Death Eaters. You're ok with that?"

"It's just not like that Lily, I saw Potter and you and I got just so angry. I'm sorry I can't explain how sorry I am"

"No, this has nothing to do with James. This is about you and me. I'm not stupid Severus, I know you wish to join the Death Eaters when we leave school. I'd like to hear why, tell me why you want to join them. Go on, I'm listening"

He studied her, almost curiously then began,

"They're powerful, they can give me opportunities that I wouldn't have on my own. I'm not good looking or wealthy like James bloody Potter or ruddy Sirius Black. I can accomplish what I've always wanted, I can be somebody!"  
>He seemed quite heated when he finished his small rant, he was breathing heavily and was a bit red in the face. Lily began carefully, she needed him to see what really was going to happen if he joined without giving away too much.<p>

"Sev, do you really sell yourself that short?" Lily asked quietly.

"What? What do you mean?" Severus asked accusingly.

"You might not come from money, no, but neither do I. So you're telling me that I can't accomplish what I want when I graduate? I have to become someone's servant when I leave school so I can do what I want?"

"No, it's different for you Lily. You're just different."

"That's just it Severus, I'm no different from you. Do you know how many people there are at this school?"

"Um, about 400?"

"Right, and how many of them would you consider 'wealthy'?"

"Maybe 50 but-"

Lily cut him off before he got a chance to finish,  
>"So 350 of us will need to become slaves to a power hungry dark wizard to accomplish what we'd like? That's where your logic took us Sev."<p>

"Well not everyone but I want to be powerful, I want to amount to someone!"

"You're smarter and more powerful than the lot, Sev. Mulciber and Avery are your friends because you read so much and probably do their homework for them. Malfoy wants to use you to get into You-Know-Who's good graces by introducing you. You're the talented one Sev, not them. Joining the Death Eaters guarantees you nothing but lifetime servitude. You don't get to be powerful or wealthy or well connected. The precious Dark Lord gets all of those things, you'll just be his stepping stone on his way"  
>Lily carefully grabbed his left arm, where she knew his mark branded his skin in her former life and gently lifted his robe to see his unmarked arm,<p>

"You could do it you know, join them and receive the Dark Mark. You could do your master's bidding for the rest of your life. Killing mudbloods like me, blood traitors, all of them alike. You wouldn't be able to keep me safe Sev, it just wouldn't work. The goings on of a group like that just can't be trusted. You need to make a choice, be your own great man or be a servant."  
>She tugged his sleeve down and stared straight into his eyes,<p>

"I'll give you a second chance, you can be my friend or be a Death Eater. You just can't have both, it won't work. We go home in a few days, I'll be in the second to last train compartment in the last booth on the left, if you'd like to be my friend then I'll be waiting for you but I can't wait forever Sev."

Lily walked to the exit of the room and before exiting she turned to see his shell shocked face one last time and said,

"For what it's worth Sev, I'll always believe in you."

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><p>So there you have it, some interaction between Severus and Lily. I'm a bit stuck as to how I would show Severus' interactions with the future Death Eaters so the next chapter might take a bit longer.<br>Next up, Lily fights an internal battle about telling Dumbledore and keeping James Potter away.  
>As always I love reviews!<br>Thanks to everyone who has added this story to alerts/favorites! Thank you so much! :D


	5. Chapter 5

'Bit dramatic, Lily' she thought to herself as she exited the Room of Requirement, 'Right well hopefully he takes what I'm saying seriously'. After thinking she was silly for having a conversation with herself she realized she had taken herself to the stairs leading to the Great Hall.

Lily took a moment to compose herself, she needed to think before remembering what she was like at 16. At this point in time she was quite torn up about losing her crush/best friend in one big dramatic swoop and remembered leaning heavily on her friends. Seeing these people for the first time in years, 'Years? How long as it been?' she calmed herself down. She had a mission, destroy Voldemort before he could destroy the wizarding world and before he could destroy her.

She knew this was the moment she started to see James Potter in a new light, the silly immature things he had done were quickly forgiven when she had seen a change in him. She later realized she wanted to see this change in Severus, but seeing it in someone was good enough for her she supposed. She didn't even get to say a proper goodbye to James in the afterlife.

Walking to breakfast she knew she would not be able to stay with James in this lifetime, she just didn't have it in her. Realizing the implications that statement had she struggled with her next step, instead she made a quick turn to the nearest lavatory. This meant she would never have Harry. No Harry Potter would exist in this world. Dumbledore had warned her of this, told her that everything would be different. Losing her baby was hard the first time but could she do it twice? 'Just talking to Severus has changed the course of time already, making love to James on the same night hoping for the same child is just a crazy thought' Lily wasn't exactly well read on biology but she knew enough to know that making the same child twice was highly unlikely. Even if they did get married again, even if they did make love on the same night, the same hour, the same minute, the chances of having Harry again were unlikely.

This was something she knew all along but bringing it to the forefront of her mind was very difficult for her, she was doing this for him, for his memory. Realizing now that this was essential for any future children she would have, 'If I can make it to that point this time' she thought bitterly. She was doing the right thing, steeling herself in her mission she pushed her hair back and studied herself for the first time.

Lily Evans, she hadn't been an Evans in years and she realized it how much she missed being Lily Evans again. She hadn't been much older than she was now when she died, but she still had about an inch left until she reached her adult height. Her curves hadn't fully developed and the way she had her hair parted made her look a lot younger. Finding her vanity silly she walked outside and finally reached the Great Hall for breakfast.

The golden light crept in the large windows, the majority of the school were seated themselves at their respective house tables and she couldn't help the small smile that graced her lips at the sight of her old school. She had missed Hogwarts both in life and in death. Smelling the food, seeing her friends, it all almost made her forget she probably appeared very odd by standing in the doorway blocking students from entering too. Luckily her behavior would most likely be excused due to the fact that most people were busy eating, she was starving and forgot how hungry teenagers are.

"I hope you sorted him out, Lily"  
>Lily saw her friend, Mary MacDonald passing her and she followed Mary to sit at the Gryffindor table.<p>

"We spoke, yes, but I hope he really listened"

"Wait, you mean you didn't just tell him off then? You actually spoke?"

Mary seemed shocked but Lily was distracted by James Potter who took his seat across the table from her, he misinterpreted her staring as attraction and gave her a wink before speaking,

"I did think I looked quite attractive today, thanks for reminding me Lils. How about you let Mr. Potter here take you to Hogsmeade tomorrow? It'll be the best time you've had there, guaranteed."

Lily had forgotten how arrogant 16 year old James was, he never quite got over being an arrogant person but his large head had deflated somewhat over the years.

"No thanks, Potter, I'll probably be revising for the History of Magic O.W.L. on Monday"

"Aw come on Lily, revision seems so boring compared to the exciting day I'm promising you. Don't worry, you'll come around eventually. I'm sure of it, we're meant to be together you know?" James said brightly.

"Hm are we really, James? No one told me, I would hate for you to be disappointed" Lily replied heavy with sarcasm.

Sirius laughed into his bowl of porridge one seat away from Lily and was promptly hit in the ribs by James' elbow.

"Don't worry, Lily, you'll see it soon enough. What is it you want from me, dearest?"

Lily rolled her eyes at his dramatics and grabbed some eggs and toast and began to eat her breakfast and started an easy conversation with Dorcas Meadowes. She was another girl in Lily's year but they never were very close. She had stuck to Mary after her and Severus' fight but Lily found out that Dorcas was very nice and helpful in Herbology, the two of them walked to the library so Dorcas could show Lily the text she was talking about and the two were planning on studying for their Herbology O.W.L. that was coming up on Monday.

Entering the library Lily glanced around, remembering the high bookshelves and the massive amount of tables everywhere, it smelled like old books and candle wax. A unique combination she still associated with the Hogwarts' library for years after graduation. 'Hopefully this sentimental kick quits eventually', Lily thought to herself as she seated herself across the table from Dorcas Meadowes.

The two girls studied for quite sometime, talking occasionally until Lily saw Damien Avery and Alton Mulciber gathering their things when Anton Dolohov rushed into the library and whispered something to them. She thought the whole scene was rather curious and excused herself to go use the lav and followed the three boys down the hallway. She followed them quietly down the stairs, and into the dungeons. They disappeared behind a wall and quickly disillusioned herself then quietly joined them.

That's when she saw Regulus Black with his wand pointed at a chained Severus Snape who had a bloody nose and black eye. The three boys entered the room and Dolohov began to speak,  
>"Go on Snape, explain to our friends here what we're all doing" Dolohov sneered.<p>

"Just leave me alone, all I said was that I couldn't go to Malfoy's Estate this summer. I need to return home, I told you that my mother was ill" Severus replied a bit out of breath.

"That's a LIE Snape, we all know it. You said just two days ago you couldn't wait to get away from your dreadful muggle town and join us at the Malfoy's this holiday"  
>He hissed his last words through clenched teeth, Lily quickly worried for her friend's safety. So he was choosing her over these people, the thought made electricity run through her, she smiled before realizing that he was in danger. She realized that she might have to step in if they were going to cause serious damage,<p>

"What do you mean Snape? You don't wait to go to Malfoy's? You know that the Dark Lord will be there, he wants to meet you! You're blowing your chance at being a Death Eater!" Black seemed even angrier at Severus than Dolohov if that was at all possible,

"Just think of what you're doing, Severus, you don't want us as your enemy" Black seemed to be digging a hole into Severus' face with his glare

Severus seemed to be thinking, his nose looked quite painful and his black eye was swelling quickly,  
>"As I told you Mr. Black and Mr. Dolohov I have been rethinking my priorities. I am not able to join you at Mr. Malfoy's manor this break and I hope you all accept my sincerest apologies."<p>

Everyone in the room knew this was fake, Lily thought it was quite smart to just remain ambivalent to the whole situation. She knew that if he came out and said he wanted out they might do horrible things to him.

"You're making a mistake Snape, you're either with us or against us. You know that, this is because of that mudblood isn't it-" Avery was talking a mile a minute, almost not sure what else to say.

"DON'T use that word, Avery!"  
>Severus seemed to physically flinch at the word and cut Avery off before he was even able to finish, Dolohov said something that Lily couldn't hear before punching Severus in the jaw. Black kicked him as he fell over in the ribs and Avery and Mulciber sent their shoes down on his shins. Severus wasn't shouting in pain like a regular person was, he did seem to be losing consciousness.<p>

"We'll see you next term, Snape."  
>Dolohov exited the room first, followed by Black then Avery and Mulciber. Lily had no idea how to approach the situation, she couldn't let Severus know she was spying on him. He wouldn't take that very well, but she also knew she couldn't leave him here. He appeared to have passed out from pain and she then decided to take him somewhere where he would be easily spotted. So Lily levitated his body to the hallway after checking to make sure it was clear of students. She placed him in the middle of the hallway and ran to Professor Slughorn's door, still under the disillusionment charm she knocked and watched him come out of his classroom to find Severus laying on the floor of the hallway. Lily began walking up the stairs after seeing Slughorn taking Severus to the hospital wing.<p>

Lily Evans felt many things at once, nervous for her friend who took a big risk by deflecting from the Death Eaters, anxious that this big plan of hers wouldn't even work and that Voldemort would succeed anyway, a bit overwhelmed by her lack of direction, but she also felt something else. It was quiet and small at first but the more attention she paid this feeling, this old feeling that she thought had lost itself in the deep recesses of her mind a long time ago, the more she realized what it was. Love for Severus Snape.


	6. Chapter 6

All characters and horcruxes belong to JK Rowling, maybe she'd let me borrow them if I asked? Anyway, here's my latest offering. There's an Author's note at the end explaining some changes to an earlier chapter so check it out!_  
><em>

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><p><em>Horcruxes:<em>  
><em>1. Gaunt ring, location Gaunt Shack<em>  
><em>2. Tom Riddle's diary, location Malfoy Manor ?<em>  
><em>3. Slytherin locket, seaside cave<em>  
><em>4. Hufflepuff goblet, Lestrange vault ?<em>  
><em>5. Ravenclaw diadem, Room of Hidden Things<em>

'Bloody brilliant' Lily thought to herself as she made her list of horcruxes, making lists had always helped her organize her thoughts and feelings. She knew she would have to be careful with this list, if it got into the wrong hands she would come under some serious scrutiny not to mention have a lot of explaining to do. She was still considering her options, especially pertaining to Dumbledore. He was manipulative but he also had the greater good at heart. He wanted Voldemort gone just as much as she did, but at what price?

Lily had seen the conversation between Severus and Dumbledore, the one where the Headmaster asked Severus to deliver a message to Harry. That the Dark Lord would have to kill him, after the snake was dead. He was willingly allowing her son to march to his death without as much as blinking an eye. The old man couldn't even tell Harry himself, he made Severus not only kill him but also deliver this horrible message. She had seen Severus' reaction, casting his patronus to prove his undying love for her. He had lived his whole life to protect her son, waited until the day he would be able to join her in death. Well she just wasn't going to allow him to suffer like that this time.

That was the other topic heavily weighing on her mind, Severus deserved a full life. He didn't deserve one where he would be sneaking around with her, hunting horcruxes. Breaking into Gringotts and trying to fight off inferi in a seaside cave or sneaking into Malfoy manor to find a little black diary. He deserved to know all of these things but he was 16 after all, she couldn't very well say 'By the way, Sev, I've come back from the dead! Fancy thinking, eh? I'm here to destroy Voldemort and make sure you don't suffer your whole life like last time. Yep, last time where you held my dead body and acted as a double agent for my son. Oh did I mention I had this child with James Potter?'. Lily knew Severus loved her, but how much? How would he react to all of this information? Would he think she was horrible for not forgiving him, for ending up with James, for having a child with James? What would he say to her coming back from the dead? Would he think she was taking pity on him, only being his friend because she was guilty? Severus had very low self-esteem, no one had ever really shown interest in him except for her. He would question anything coming from anyone if it was seen as a nice gesture. He hated pity and felt sick and the thought of charity. She had to be careful about approaching the situation, but she also knew that it was her or no one for Severus. She knew that fact first hand.

Too many what-if's swam through her head at once, she began to feel dizzy. She gently lowered her head onto the wooden table she was sitting in front of in the back corner of the library. This was her favorite place in the whole castle, there was a large window you could see the grounds from and almost no one knew of the place. She glanced outside at the rising sun, she had woken up early again today after going to bed rather late last night. After making sure Slughorn was taking care of Severus, she snuck back into the hospital wing later after curfew once again under a disillusionment charm. They had kept him for overnight observation and Lily heard a conversation between Dumbledore and Professor Slughorn,

"It is probably for the best, Albus. Who knows how often this will continue if he is not moved!"

"Yes, Horace, I agree. You should change Mr. Snape's dormitory before he returns to his House tomorrow evening. It seems his classmates are not too pleased with him. Found him on the ground you said?"

"Why yes, yes Albus. He was just laying there, someone had knocked on my door but when I opened it I could see no one but Mr. Snape in the hallway."

"Hm, very curious indeed. It seems our Mr. Snape has an invisible guardian"

Dumbledore had looked around the hospital wing, as if anticipating his "invisible guardian" to show up.  
>Lily waited until the two men left and quietly moved to Severus' bed, she watched him sleeping and thought he looked peaceful when asleep. Not so sour and angry, the moonlight made his pale skin glow as if someone was shining a grey light on him. She moved his hair from his face and moved freely through the hallways back to Gryffindor Tower.<p>

Sleeping in the mortal world was more difficult than she remembered, organizing her thoughts and trying to turn off her brain to get some rest was frustrating. The more she thought about it the less she was able to sleep. She noticed a rumbling in her stomach and thought that it wouldn't be very smart to skip breakfast, she was looking forward to finishing her O.W.L.s tomorrow but wasn't sure what she would do with all her spare time. She packed up her things and put her horcrux list in the moleskin pouch she purchased when she was new to the wizarding world at the tender age of 11. She also knew Severus had a matching one.

Finally arriving at the Great Hall she glanced at the Slytherin table but didn't see Severus sitting and eating. He was probably going to be in the hospital wing for the rest of the day,

"Are you looking for Severus? I know you two used to be friends." Lily turned to see Dorcas Meadowes sitting next to her,

"Yeah, I heard he got beat up and sent to the hospital wing." Lily tried to seem curious and not appear to knowledgeable.

"Oh, yes, I heard that too. If you don't mind me asking, didn't he call you the m-word?"

"Um yeah, yeah he did. Well we talked it over and I told him that if he makes some changes that I'd give him a second chance so we'll see how that goes"

"Well that's rather nice of you, Lily. You're very patient, very kind. Have you been studying for tomorrow's O.W.L's? I'll be heading to the library after breakfast if you'd like to join?"

"Yeah, that would be nice thanks Doe"

After finishing her breakfast with Dorcas the two girls headed to the library to finish looking over notes for their upcoming exams. Lily ended up eating dinner with Dorcas and did not fail to notice the glares she was getting from her other friend Mary. Too distracted to care Lily went about her days much the same, taking her exams and making lists of her next move. Lily knew that she needed to act carefully considering that she was still under the trace and therefore couldn't really do much as far as her horcrux hunt went. She also needed to get the book detailing how to make and destroy horcruxes from Dumbledore's office, this is what she decided she needed to do before break. If she couldn't destroy or gather the horcruxes just yet then she could learn about them. She needed to find a way to summon the book while Dumbledore wasn't in his office, having overheard her son's friend Hermionie tell his other friend Ron what she was intending to do Lily could only hope her theory would work.

It was the night before the students would be returning to King's Cross station, Lily had successfully avoided Severus giving him time to really think through his decision. She didn't want him to give up the Death Eaters for just her, he had joined the first time around and he needed to see how wrong it was. Luckily he was in a new dorm room and hopefully being housed with Slytherins who weren't Voldemort supporters would do him some good.

Not trusting her usual disillusionment charm Lily knew where she could get a more reliable source of invisibility. She waited until the Gryffindors were sleeping and quietly made her way up to the tower where the 5th year boys were sleeping. She saw they were all snoring away, dead to the world. She quickly made her way to James' trunk and saw the invisibility cloak draped across the bottom inside the trunk where he always kept it. She also grabbed the Marauder's map for good measure and threw the cloak around herself and took a sharp turn out of the dorm, almost knocking over Remus' trunk in her hurry.

Making her way down the stairs she stopped at one of the secret passages outside the castle, she stepped outside and quickly made her way to the Headmaster's tower. She knew from her time as an Order member that Dumbledore always had some night time tea with Professor Minerva McGonagall and checked his location on the map, he was in her office. 'Perfect' Lily thought to herself. She concentrated all her magic on her thoughts 'Accio horcrux book!' not wanting to be overheard she performed the spell non-verbally. She saw the large black book floating out of the window and it appeared right in front of her. She immediately threw it under the cloak and could feel the dark magic radiating from it.

She checked the map to see that Dumbledore was returning to his office, did he have some sort of alarm if someone took something from his office? By the speed him and McGonagall were moving toward his office she could guess yes.  
>Lily walked as fast as she could without making any noise, she was just about to turn the corner when she saw the two almost running to his office. She overheard them talking rapidly about something missing from his office, trunk searching was mentioned. Were the situation not so serious, Lily might have laughed at the way the two were walking but kept her mouth shut. She saw the two make the turn to his office and she took off for the tower. Luckily the Fat Lady was fast asleep and Lily whispered the password, the Fat Lady blearily mumbled something before opening slightly. Lily jumped inside the common room and made her way up to the boy's dorms. She deposited the cloak and the map into James' trunk before returning to her own bed with the horcrux book.<p>

Not trusting it to be laying out, especially if the teachers would be searching trunks, she switched the cover with her old Charms textbook and placed it in her moleskin bag thanking herself for the undetectable extension charm she had looked up and placed on the bag months ago. She then placed the bag around her neck, not trusting anyone anymore. She heard McGonagall opening doors to the other dormitories and laid down just as she opened their door.  
>Lily could barely contain herself, she had retrieved the horcrux book and was safely back in the tower without being caught.<p>

She was also returning home tomorrow. That meant riding on the Hogwarts Express again, that also meant seeing Severus. The new Severus, the changed man she had hoped to see for years now. The prospect was just too much and Lily faced another sleepless night.

'Tomorrow I can see him again, as long as none of the professors find the horcrux book in my moleskin then maybe I can do this. I'll be the cunning Slytherin if I have to be'  
>Drifting off between sleep and daydreaming, Lily waited for her summer to start. Hopefully tomorrow would go smoothly.<p>

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><p>So I think I said they would be going home in 12 days in one of the earlier chapters, yeah well I'm changing that. :D hope that's ok! Here's the latest and "greatest" so next chapter we'll see Lily and Severus together again and Lily will find out just how hard keeping secrets can be!<br>Please read/review, it's really nice!


	7. Chapter 7

Lily stirred awake, her head felt heavy and she remembered that she hadn't slept properly in a few days. Hopefully returning home would help her sleep schedule, but she wasn't very optimistic. Returning to live your life over again gave you scary feelings of deja vu almost all day long.

Gathering her things and folding them inside her trunk, Lily remembered she would be seeing Severus today. The thought brought a small smile to her face. She had no idea how to act around him, hopefully the summer away from school and back home would give them a chance to talk and become friends again. She had missed him.

Defeat Lord Voldemort before he had the chance to ruin lives once again, that was her mission, but it wasn't the only thing she had planned this time around. There were a few things Lily Evans would be doing with her second chance. One of those things was to befriend the elusive Petunia Evans. Watching her sister from the afterlife she knew that she never truly hated Lily, only felt jealous and left out from the world she so readily entered at the age of 11. Seeing the longing glances in Harry's direction when he would perform accidental magic as a child, Lily knew that Petunia was jealous more than anything.

Accidental magic, almost like one's hair color, was highly influenced by a child's parents. Muggles and wizards alike, the magic performed at a young age was unique. It was a small glimpse into the type of witch or wizard the child would become. Pure magic like Lily's was strong, and was also passed down to her son. Opening up flower pedals, making rainbows appear over a rain puddle, floating from a swing set, it was pure and beautiful magic. Light magic, not dark, and extremely influential. Ironic that even though her son was James all in looks, his magical core was all Lily and she was able to see the sadness in her sister's eyes when Harry would make the grass fly when happy. She did miss Lily, but was always too proud to admit it. She knew that she could be reached but she needed to show Petunia that she was still the same Lily, the same sister she always had.

Swallowing her pride was tough, but Lily realized she could be blamed for their strain as well. When she met Severus she all but forgot about the muggle world from which she came, he held such promises of fairy tales and magical schools that it was too much temptation for a young girl who always held an overactive imagination. Poor Petunia and her tea parties just didn't stand a chance against Severus' mock transfiguation lessons or imaginary dragon duels.

Finally finished with her packing she took one more long glance at her bed and the desk next to it. It was her home for so long and now she was back, back to try again and make things better. The weight of the world on her shoulders was tough at times, overwhelming mostly, but she knew it would be worth it if she could help others live a full life. Part of being a true Gryffindor meant the urge to sacrifice yourself for the good of others, she knew it was careless but she couldn't help it. As long as everyone else was happy she could rest easy at night.

Feeling the weight of her moleskin pouch against her chest she took off for the Great Hall with her trunk in hand, ready for a search she gladly offered her trunk to Professor Slughorn. 'Too easy' she thought to herself, she was ready to use her cunning Slytherin side that she always knew existed,

"Professor, why do you need my trunk? Surely you haven't lost something" Lily said cheekily, knowing how to distract the professor who always favored her,

"Oho Miss Evans! Always the witty one you are! No unfortunately I cannot reveal the true nature of my search, top secret professor business that I cannot say! Not that you have anything to worry about, dear" Professor Slughorn lightly brushed her things from side to side, she knew that she would have never been a suspect in a million years and that she was just merely a formality. A dark arts text missing was not cause to search a Gryffindor Prefect's trunk, but Slytherin House was probably getting turned upside down.

"Well thank you Professor, I do believe you've organized my trunk better than I did!" Lily giggled as she closed her trunk once the "search" was finished.

"Oh, Lovely Lily, you always know how to flatter an old potion's professor! Have a wonderful summer, try not to forget too much over break!"

Breakfast was hurried due to the search and Lily could not wait to get out of the castle and back home. She knew once Slughorn was checking her trunk that she had little to worry about as far as being caught with the dark text, but it was still a relief. She finally felt some weight being lifted off her chest as she literally placed her trunk on the upper rows of the compartment she promised to be waiting for Severus in. Knowing he would come she waited patiently but still was excited to see him, she knew what she had to do but was still not sure how to approach the sensitive subject of time travel.

She had time to think it over during her many restless nights, she needed to restore their previously rock solid bond between them before even considering revealing her secret to him. He needed to trust her and she needed to trust him once again, she hoped he would be able to help her but she did not want him inserting himself into danger when he was still underage. She would wait until he was at least legal in the wizarding world before telling him what she was doing. She knew that if he knew, he would insist on accompanying her on her dangerous quests. She also knew he would feel devastated if she lied to him about mysterious absences an was glad that she couldn't truly begin collecting horcruxes until she was able to get the blasted trace lifted.

Just as she could begin to think of possible explanations, Severus entered the car. He gently placed his trunk on the seat next to him and smirked slightly at her surprised face (she really had worked hard on her surprised face). Not able to resist the happiness that surged through her seeing him happy and healthy and truly hers once again she threw herself into his arms and just enjoyed the feeling of his heartbeat beneath her ear. He smelled like parchment and warm hair two things she forever associated with him.

"Severus, you came"

"Lily, of course I did"

She enjoyed the weight of him in her arms before releasing him and motioned for him to sit next to her on the bench, she quickly kicked off her uniform flats and dug through her trunk for the chocolate frogs she nicked from Mary MacDonald's trunk that morning. Seeing Severus' reaction to the chocolate she suddenly stopped feeling guilty for stealing the sweets and enjoyed talking with him about the times they had as children like when they would pretend to speak to the merpeople they were certain lived in the river behind their houses, or how Severus would try to explain the difficult concepts of potions he had yet to truly understand. They were both just content to spend the time in each others company and Lily even enjoyed poking fun at the Marauders who would try to sneak glances at them through the compartment windows.

Sooner than she would have liked the train pulled into King's Cross and Lily quickly made Severus leave the car so she could put on muggle clothes, she tried to shrug the feeling of adolescence as she pulled on her favorite jeans and orange t-shirt. She switched places with Severus outside so he too could change and realized that he probably needed a ride home to Spinner's End, she wanted to make his time back home less miserable than usual and she had plans for him to spend time with her parents so he could see that not all muggles were worthless like his father.

"Would you like a ride home, Sev? Mum will want you to stay for dinner of course, that's only if you're ok with it?" Lily asked as he exited the compartment carrying both their trunks in his scrawny arms.

"Um, well, I'm not sure Lily, only if it's ok, I would hate to impose" Severus seemed embarrassed and Lily took her own trunk from his load and tried to make him feel more comfortable.

"Oh, Sev of course it's ok! Plus, you and I both know I wasn't about to take 'No' for an answer" she replied smartly and winked at him as they exited the train and made their way to the parking lot where she knew her parents would be waiting.

Steeling her reserve, she anxiously awaited seeing her parents in the light of day and not in the afterlife. She knew it would be a tough journey ahead, but for the first time she truly had Severus by her side. Knowing this she threw him a sidelong glance and knew she could make it. For the first time since returning to the living she felt truly optimistic, and happy.

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><p>Sorry for the wait! I had these blasted midterms and I haven't had a chance to update, hope you liked it! As always readreview and thank you to everyone who's given me such awesome feedback, I really love hearing what you all have to say about this. I'll be done with midterms on Wednesday so expect a few updates during my Spring break.


	8. Chapter 8

Laying under her covers surrounded by the warm yellow glow emitting from her wand, Lily was reading the dark secrets of the worst types of magic. Why any headmaster had allowed this to stay in the library was beyond Lily, it was truly gruesome. Detailing how to break up your soul into multiple pieces gave her a headache and made her want to vomit but she was learning. Lily had seen Professor Dumbledore destroy the Gaunt ring with the sword of Gryffindor, but that only worked due to the basilisk venom it had been supplied with when her son had avoided Voldemort and killed the giant snake. Thinking that it was probably unwise to venture to the Chamber of Secrets with the missing sword of Gryffindor, she was looking for another plan.

Also on an unrelated side note, she thought that her son had accomplished a lot before his departing from his Hogwart's education.

The book spoke in vague terms, the authors were probably not completely sure on how to destroy the blasted things themselves. The soul fragment needed to be destroyed beyond repair in a magical and physical sense. This left her with very few options, basilisk venom was poisonous enough to kill you but also magical enough to not be seen in a regular muggle environment which made it the best of both worlds in a sick hypothetical sense. The killing curse could kill a person and could also kill a horcrux but that had dangerous and fatal side effects when casted, not particularly fond of having her soul broken into pieces herself Lily quickly disregarded this as the last possible option. Fiendfyre was also a distinct possibility, but having never casted the dangerous spell she knew it was tricky and fatal if not yielded properly. She was able to observe Dumbledore casting fiendfyre in the cave when collecting Slytherin's locket but knew it was dark and dangerous.

It felt like someone was banging her head against the wall as she quickly snapped the book shut and put it back in her moleskin pouch underneath her sleep shirt. She muttered a quick nox and walked to the window to look outside.

It was a clear and beautiful summer night, hot but not too hot with barely any clouds and thousands of stars in the sky. She quickly put on a sweatshirt and threw some shorts on then made her way to her secret spot on the roof underneath her window. Her parent's house was the same as it was in her first life and the same as the house in the afterlife. Yellow with white accents, two stories and lots of flowers outside. The backside of the house had symmetrical builds and part of the roof jetted out from the second story as the top floor was not as wide as the bottom. Lily's window seat had a lovely view of the neighborhood with the river and meadows just in sight and the roof underneath her window was her special place.

Settling into the dangerous, but still peaceful, set-up she had created for herself where a few roof tiles were missing she began looking at the stars using her astronomy book for help. After identifying some constellations she just let herself feel relaxed for a few moments. She had always loved the night sky, some people saw stars and felt insignificant but Lily felt invigorated by them. So many stars and so many questions still needed to be answered, it made her feel like she had a purpose once again. Even if that purpose was a bit much sometimes.

Suddenly in the distance, near the river she used to play with Severus, she saw someone moving around. It was about 2 in the morning and Lily kept still and tried to see them. Sure enough it was Severus himself, but what was he doing up so early and why was he wandering around outside? Leaving her roof retreat she made her way back inside and quietly crept out the kitchen door, speed walking to the park she saw him skipping stones on the peaceful lake. The scene was quiet beautiful, Severus' pale skin seemed to glow with the moonlight as his black hair blended in with the dark surroundings. Seeing the moon reflected in the lake as he made small ripples with the stones she didn't want to disturb him but she decided to break some twigs to let him know someone was there.

"Who's there!" Severus seemed started but not too scared.

"Sev, sorry I didn't want to scare you! It's just me!" Lily smiled kindly and picked up some stones herself by the riverbank.

"Oh, no it's fine Lily. You shouldn't be out this late though, it's too dangerous at night"

"Hm, well I should be saying the same to you. What's wrong?" Lily noticed his eyes seemed troubled.

"Nothing, just my parents again. Always fighting." Severus let his sentence trail off.

"We promised to talk more, Sev, remember?"

"Right, I know, just maybe not now?"

Lily had made Severus promise they would start talking more about personal things, she wanted to rebuild their friendship and his trust so one day she could revel her secret to him.

"That's fine, Sev, but I will get it out of you. I always get my way" Lily added smartly.

"Oh, I have no doubt about that Miss Evans" Severus seemed to have a small smile on his lips and that made Lily feel a bit better about him not sharing.

The two eventually sat on the cold grass just staring and pointing out constellations to each other before Lily even noticed their close proximity. Their noses were about three inches apart and Lily felt fire course through her veins. She wanted to pull him closer, graze his lips slowly and carefully but she knew it was too soon. She had too much to do yet, too much to tell him.

"Hm so are you going to tell me, Sev? You know you can trust me."

This seemed to bring Severus back to thinking as he made a face and turned his head to the stars once again,

"My father is not working, they're relying on the Dole to get by. My mother is telling him to stop being a lazy waste of space and actually get a job and not spend the money they do have on gambling and drinking. It's been a pleasant summer so far"

Lily knew things at his house were bad, but as long as he avoided the main arguments he could be left alone. This would be the last time he had to return to his parent's house, he would be 17 in January and sometimes she thought she was more excited about that than he was.

"I'm sorry, Sev, if you ever need a place to go my parents would love to have you. You're the only one tall enough to reach the fancy plates, not sure why my mum put them that high but oh well." She found his hand in the darkness and gave it a soft squeeze, just content to be touching him.

"I think I'll be fine, this is the last time I have to be here. I can go off on my own when I turn 17, not sure where I'll go but I'll figure that out when I get there. Thanks, Lily, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me" Severus finished that sentence quietly and barely above a whisper.

She wasn't sure if she was meant to hear it but she wanted to tell him that the feeling was mutual. Deciding it was getting late and that they should try and sleep, she made plans to have him eat dinner at her house and they would work on some homework tomorrow afternoon. Hugging him goodnight she turned to leave before she heard him ask,

"How did you know where I was?"

"Oh, right! I was on the roof and I saw you, thought it would be nice to have some company."

"You're like a cat you know? Stalking people from the roof, just be careful Lily. I don't think I could handle it if something happened to you"

"Same for me, Sev"

* * *

><p>There you go, not a very informative chapter but like I said, I'll be able to write some more now that I'm on spring break. Wahoo! Anyway, as always read and review!<p>

Thank you to everyone who's added this story to their favorites / story alerts, it's an awesome feeling seeing that people like this story. Hope school or work is going well for everyone!

These characters belong to JK Rowling, the scene described with the river is from the Prince's Tale in the Deathly Hallows text.


	9. Chapter 9

Lily woke up paralyzed in her bed, not able to move just yet she could almost feel the blood circulating through her body and slowly regaining feeling. Nightmares were common recently as one would sure expect but that didn't make it any easier.

She eased herself out of bed and crept quietly to the bathroom she shared with her sister, noticing the light was on she cursed quietly to herself. Not really feeling up to a face-off with Petunia at 1:48 am.

The door opened slowly and Lily saw her sister without all her harsh guards and false accusations about things being 'out of place'. She looked normal, sleepy and innocent almost.

"Hey Tuney"

"Mmm don't call me, 'Tuney' Lily, I'm much too old for that now"

Not allowing her temper to rise like she would have last time she was a teenager, Lily held her ground.

"OK, Petunia, I was wondering if you were busy tomorrow? I wanted to go clothes shopping and well, you're just so much better at it than I am"

Lily knew the fastest way to her sister's heart was complimenting her and she was shamelessly buttering her up.

"Um really? I suppose you could do with some regular clothes, I'd rather not see you wear your freak outfits around the neighborhood. I have a reputation to uphold, you know"

"Yes! Great, good, thanks Petunia! So we'll leave at like 11, yeah?"

"Sure, fine, just don't be late"

Watching Petunia crawl back to her bedroom Lily didn't bother to hide the smile on her face, she knew that her sister was jealous of her abilities and if she was honest with herself she would have been jealous too if their situations were reversed. Seeing someone you love running away to a fairy tale of a school with other people just like you? Friends and magic and all the things kids dream about, it would have been a bit too much for the best of people.

Severus and Petunia were too much alike, Lily decided as she walked back to her bedroom after splashing some water on her face, they were both stubborn and products of their environment. Just small things changed and Lily knew she could help both of them become the best types of people possible.

One problem with this 'journey back in time' business was that Lily was trying her hardest not to become too cynical. Noticing how everyone was so self-involved was making it hard. If she had done a few things differently, listened to her heart instead of her friends, taken more time to spend with Petunia and her family, possibly not been so naive. Time was a fragile thing indeed and it was hard for her not to curse the people around her constantly. Maybe if her parents had spent some extra time with Petunia and encouraged her to follow her own special talents? What if Severus' parents had paid more attention to him instead of fighting with each other? James Potter's arrogance ruined lives and if they had paid more attention to the damage their words had as children and teenagers then maybe some people could have been saved from the darkness.

Everyone around her tended to be self-involved, and it was enough to drive you mad knowing that just a few things were being changed and that so many things would be different.

* * *

><p>Arriving downstairs promptly at 11 after having a bit of a lie in and eating some breakfast, Lily was preparing herself for a day with her sister. They would test each other's patience and most likely get into some pretty heavy arguments but Lily was determined to change some things,<p>

1. Help Petunia see how wonderful she could be on her own. She was destined for so much more than the boring mundane normalcy she condemned herself to with one Vernon Dursley.

2. Help Petunia meet another boy, someone light years better than Vernon Dursley.

3. Did she mention she really doesn't like Vernon Dursley?

After complimenting her sister's sun dress the two girls climbed into their mother's car and headed toward town where Petunia had friends who worked in the stores and could also offer their help, the closest Lily got to a compliment from her sister on the drive was "You're not totally hopeless, Lily"

After stopping by a few stores and Lily thumbing through racks while Petunia chatted with her friends. She had found a few cute pieces, some jeans and a couple tops. Mostly winter clothes since it seemed that Hogwarts was one of those northern schools that liked to be cold all the time. She tried to remember when Petunia had met Vernon, if she remembered correctly it was when she started working at that drill company. So she still had a few years to lay some ground work before she went back to school in September, as they went into the next store she saw a very good looking boy walking around with his little sister. Or Lily could assume it was his little sister, they had the same chestnut colored hair and same hazel eyes. He was tall, probably at least 6' with broad shoulders and a slight tan.

In other words, he was Dursley's opposite in every possible way.

In other other words, he was perfect for Petunia.

Now all she had to do was get his attention..

* * *

><p>I'm the worst! I know it!<p>

I'm so sorry for my random absence, things in my life have been less than stellar lately and I just haven't really had any inspiration for writing what-so-ever.

I know you waited and waited and there's still no real Snily progress but next chapter that's going to change, and I promise I'll upload that one soon.

Thank you to everyone who's still reading/favoriting this story, you guys make me feel like this is worth it.


	10. Chapter 10

Lily made her way to the park where she was planning on meeting Severus for the day, she brought some sandwiches and crisps as well as some watermelon and apple juice. All of his favorites. Usually they would walk around town and try to get some lunch but Lily knew what she was doing this time, not wanting to sacrifice alone time with Severus and not wanting him to feel pressured into spending money she decided a picnic was the best option.

She never had many muggle friends, children can be cruel and tend to not like girls who can make the grass change shapes and float down to the ground from their swings. Lily wanted Severus to see that not everyone was cruel but she knew that convincing him that muggles weren't all bad was a long fight she would have to face. Although she wasn't stupid, she knew he would never be friends with the Marauders per say but she did think they could possibly look for other wizards at Hogwarts. After all, James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew weren't the only boys living in the castle.

"Hey Lily, what's with the backpack?"

"Hello Sev! It's just our lunch, I figured we could eat around here then go into town if we felt like it. To be honest it's rather hot, not really sure if I feel like walking around too much today"

"Oh, right, that's fine too. Guess I should have thought of that" Severus said shyly.

"Don't worry too much Sev, I can learn to forgive you" She handed him the backpack with a teasing smile and an exaggerated wink, leaving him to unpack their lunch while she found some shade.

Deciding to bring up her latest thought she charged right in,

"So I was thinking, maybe we should try making new friends. What do you think, Sev? Maybe join a club or we could make a study group?"

"Um I don't really know, Lily. You know I'm not as good with most people, you're the people person" He seemed uncomfortable but curious, Lily knew a curious Severus was better than a not curious Severus.

"As much as I love that I'm the exceptions to your rules, I think it would be good for you. For both of us, making new friends and trying to branch out. We could find some Ravenclaws to be friends with, I know you love your studying" She wanted to appear optimistic but not pushy,

"I guess so, why don't we worry about that when we have to go back in September" He looked like he was trying to change the subject and he was busying himself with the food, but honestly a couple of sandwiches and some juice didn't require that much concentration.

Lily could tell he was hesitating about something, probably the fact that he would have to face his housemates after denying them last year.

"Sev, if something's bothering you, I want you to tell me. We promised each other that. It's not like I want you to become friends with the Gryffindors. We're just as bad as the Slytherins half the time, there's hundreds of other kids at Hogwarts. We haven't even met half of them most likely"

"It's not that Lily, Slytherins stick together because most of the other students dislike us. Teachers don't trust us and we're mostly seen as slimy dungeon crawlers. I'm not stupid, my overly large nose tends to get stuck in other's people's business. I do hear things"

"First of all, Sev your nose is the perfect size. Second it may be true that some people think that but I just think we're so very limited at school. It's all quidditch and classes but everything else just gets pushed to the side. There must be other things"

"Right, well we'll see I guess. I'm not saying no if that helps, it's just a maybe"

Letting the subject go for now she changed her topic to homework, knowing he most likely had breezed through his summer work already she wanted to as for his help in some subjects. Not that she couldn't do it, just that she hadn't had to explain the reasoning or the steps to her magic in some time.

They made plans to meet again tomorrow and just sat around the grass in companionable silence for a few minutes. That was one of the things she loved (wait, when did she start saying that?) about Severus, he never underestimated silence. Most people, including James Potter, had to be talking all the time. Most people their age had to have a conversation going to seem like they were having a good time. She always thought learning about people's silence was just as important as learning their hand gestures or their eye movements.

"My dad's got a job, there's this Mercedes factory 'bout 30 miles from here. He helps fix the assembly machine or sometime like that" She could hear the lack of enthusiasm from 'bout 30 miles from here,

"That's pretty good, Sev, but you don't sound optimistic"

"I dunno, maybe this one will stick or maybe they'll just keep fighting. To be honest I just want to turn 17 and be able to do what I want"

"What's that then? Have you decided?" Genuine curiosity was apparent in her question,

"Yeah, St Mungo's I think. Healer but I want to work in spell reversal. I always thought that was interesting and I'm pretty decent at potions and pretty good at defense. Seems like a good fit." Severus seemed unsure, but she thought that would be perfect. She knew he got stuck with being a potions professor but this seemed like something he could actually love.

Lily turned on her side to face him and took his hand in hers before saying, "Sev, that sounds really wonderful. You're just so clever and I want to see you do something you'll love. Really love because you want to do it and not because you think you have to prove sometime to anyone. Just yourself, if you wanted to go off and investigate the magical properties of the Aspen tree I'd go along and tell you how brilliant you are" She couldn't help the small catch in her voice

"Thanks Lily, you're just so - and sometimes I just -" unable to finish without a spectacular blush creeping across his features he looked up toward the sky,

Squeezing his fingers in her hand she whispered, "I know Sev, me too"

* * *

><p>Few things here<p>

1) Thought I'd put this up with some Snily love, before you say anything I have their "get together" if you'd like to call it that all planned out, but it's going to be a couple more chapters so just be patient!

2) There's just so much that the canon books leave out, I do think Hogwarts has more than quidditch and I'd like to explore that a bit with these two and Dorcas Meadowes who I tried to develop a bit in the earlier chapters.

3) I think healer specializing in reversal of accidental magic would be something Severus would actually enjoy doing, he got stuck at Hogwarts for protection but I think he likes a bit of danger our boy! He doesn't seem to enjoy sitting around so this could sort of encompass all the things he loves and is good at.

4) Small shout-out to my Pottermore wand core, the Aspen tree, feel free to PM me your Pottermore usernames and I'll be glad to add you!


	11. Chapter 11

Opening her eyes, slowly, she tries to make this last as long as possible. This feeling of an emptiness but something else - something, she can't quite put her finger on.

It's July 31st and it should be her son's birthday.

But she has no son, not in this timeline.

So why is it that she can still feel the warmth of his forehead pressed against her after they fell asleep on the couch. Or the way he laughed when James would make bubbles come out of the tip of his wand. How his nursery smelled of baby, books and broom polish because she knew James was taking him for rides on his broom from the day he was born even if she would constantly tell him not to.

Today was going to be difficult, she knew that weeks ago, but as she sat up in her bed and looked out the window she tried not to curse the sun rise.

Constantly rising and setting, no matter what tragedies she had to face. Saving the wizarding world from the worst possible fate and trying to make hundreds of lives better. It was troubling, the way no one knew what she was doing. This haunted secret she carried around with her like a physical item. Hiding in her room reading about how to destroy dark magic, making lists in her head so she didn't forget, holding out for a sign or some type of reassurance that she was doing the right thing.

"Lily! Severus is here!" She heard her mother calling her from downstairs, and there it was. Her reassurance, her mother was alive and Severus wasn't a member of the Death Eaters. She was doing something right, she could do this.

Lily ran a brush through her hair and threw on some jean shorts and a grey t-shirt before tugging her flats on and brushing her teeth.

"I'll be down in 10, Sev!"

She looked at her reflection, so young, but even at 16 she knew she only would have had 5 more years of life the last time she was trying this out. How odd that feeling was. The things she could have done differently had she paid attention.

Running downstairs she pulled Severus into a hug, almost squeezing the life out of him, needing to hear his heart and feel his warmth almost to reassure herself that she had a charge.

"Um, L-lily? Thanks for the uh the um hug? Is everything OK?" Severus sounded out of breath and breathless at the same time, what an odd combination.

"Sorry, Sev, sorry just excited to see you I guess" Lily tried to keep any strain out of her voice

"Right well we should go, if we want to make it to London in time"

"You're going all the way to London just to see a scary movie about a devil boy?" Lily's mother asked them. She could hear the questioning in her voice, she knew the Omen was something her mother would rather not see but Lily did love a good scary movie,

"Trust me mum, this is probably less scary than anything we'll have learned about in Defense" Lily tried to sound placating without making her mother worry more,

"Well that makes me feel loads better, here is 5q just in case."

"Thanks mum!"

"Yes, thank you Mrs. Evans"

* * *

><p>The two teenagers flagged down the Knight Bus and had to pay 9 sickles each but it was still easier than getting a taxi or using the floo which neither home had access too. They passed the minutes talking quietly to themselves and reading the Daily Prophet which alluded to dark times that most witches and wizards were gladly keeping silent about.<p>

Getting to the theater and buying their tickets took little time and Severus had insisted on buying popcorn for the both of them, he had always known her weakness for buttered popcorn.

Sitting in the back to avoid the odd stares Severus got from most people, he was about 6' tall and had chin length black hair after all. Although she would have to admit it looked much less greasy lately.

Severus knew what the movie was about, Lily had read about it in the papers and it was causing quite a scene in America. Most muggles were terrified of the supernatural and it made both teenagers giggle when they whispered about how truly scared the muggles would be if they only knew about the two teenage wizards in the theater with them.

Truth be told, Lily loved scary movies. It made her sharp and aware and almost super focused when she thought something could always be lurking in the shadows.

However she was not immune to all scary stories, when a particularly scary part of the film happened (something about a priest and a lightning rod) Lily all but jumped on Severus and turns her head to face away from the screen. She suspiciously fits perfectly into the crook of his neck where his head meets shoulder. The familiar smoky scene of parchment and toothpaste fills her head and she loses herself in the sensation. Something like tiny lightning bolts run amock in her veins and she feels him shifting slightly.

She sees him studying her and sees nothing but genuine concern in his eyes, causing her crisis to go into overload.

What would he think of her? A 21 year old woman falling in love with him? Would he be angry? Upset? Confused? Used? All of these things made her already foggy head just cloud more and she found herself at a crossroads.

"KISS HIM!" Half of her was yelling, but the other half was screaming, "WE NEED MORE TIME!"

Hells bells she was a Gryffindor after all, would he be terribly upset if he came to find out later on that she was a time traveling witch back from the dead to save all wizard and man kind alike because she died on the night Voldemort tried to kill her and her son? Did she mention it was the son she had with James Potter?

He did everything for her in his past life, died for her name when she couldn't look in his direction for the two years at school following their big fight. The least she could do was give him the chance to be happy with her, after all she knew from the moment she returned she could only be happy with him.

She gave in, grabbed his face in her hands and pressed her lips to his.

Well, that was worth the wait.

* * *

><p>There you have it! Finally! This isn't the end of a crisis or the beginning of a super happy relationship, the two of them still have a long way to go as well as plot development from other people too!<p>

Thanks again to all the people PM'ing me and reviewing the story, it helps so much.


	12. Chapter 12

See author's notes at the end for explanations/apologies!

* * *

><p>She let herself have half a second of panic then realizing what just happened, Lily jumped up and all but dragged poor Severus out of that movie theater.<p>

"Lily! Lily! Merlin's beard, wait a second!"

He stopped and used his weight as leverage to get her to stop manhandling him outside and she secretly cursed puberty and the strength he now had over her. Feeling herself turning around to face him and ultimately have to face what just happened she tried to will herself calm.

"Lily, bloody hell what was that because I can't allow myself to think what it was without getting my hopes up. Please we need to talk about that!"

Instead of facing the situation 'Ugh, Gryffindor bravery my wand', Lily decided to try again. Slowly and breathtakingly carefully she walked outside feeling Severus behind her then once out in the sun she took his hands and laced their fingers together.

'Ah much better second time around', then most of Lily's coherent thought flew out out of head like it was being chased.

Lips sliding together, feeling his sun warmed cotton shirt in her fingers, his hands in her hair angling their heads to get more leverage, his mouth tasted like tea and peppermint. Hearing a contented humming sound from Severus' chest almost like an acoustic bass guitar she pulled away slowly finally realizing they were in public in the middle of a muggle town no less.

"Come on, Sev, there's a diner around here. We can talk there and maybe continue the kissing a little while later yeah?"

They walked the next two blocks to the diner in silence, her lips buzzing like the blood in her veins. 'Better than any adrenaline rush' she thought to herself, almost like the feeling you get after a good glass of red wine she let her thoughts carry her to a table near the window trying to ignore the comforting weight of Severus' hand still entangled with her own.

"Listen, Lily-" Severus began but was cut off by Lily shortly after,

"Wait! Severus please let me talk just for a bit" She steeled herself, not knowing where to begin.  
>"Ok look, there's a lot and I mean a LOT we need to talk about. Some of it I can explain now but some will have to come later on, do you trust me?" She asked carefully, knowing her hesitation could put him off or many him wary of her true feelings.<p>

"Yes, of course I trust you." He answered with a calm resolution.

"Ok, good so how to begin"..

* * *

><p>So I know I've been absent for the better part of a few months (hides in corner) but I have really good and really bad reasons for it.<p>

But know this! I've written out the next few chapters, in real life, and will not abandon you again!

To show I'm serious I'll even give you my tumblr url

221booya

So come and follow me/yell if I'm not updating regularly, it's a regular fandom blog (Sherlock, Doctor Who, Game of Thrones, Harry Potter, etc.)

Next chapter is the two of them talking, Lily won't be divulging everything just yet. She needs to get back to Hogwarts and get into the RoR before she can give him a full story and their relationship will be pretty PG until she can tell him the whole truth. Just warning FYI.

Anyway, if you've stuck with me this far you're a saint or crazy but either way I thank you!


	13. Chapter 13

I don't own any Harry Potter characters (but I had a dream I went to Howarts once) so I'm just borrowing them / putting them in impossible situations totally different from canon. K cool.

* * *

><p>So they talked, they talked in that little diner for hours about what happened growing up.<p>

"Well to be honest, I was watching you and Petunia play for a few weeks before I got the guts to actually say anything." He said remembering their first meeting.

"Creepy, Sev" she said joking and with smile in her eyes.

Was being sorted into different houses that big of a deal or did the prejudices against Slytherin House effect their attitudes toward each other?

"I think everyone in Gryffindor thinks everyone in Slytherin is just evil, to be honest we would probably think the same if we hadn't known each other from back home." she told him with complete honesty.

Did Severus fell neglected by Lily or was it mostly because he had such high expectations of Hogwarts and was let down by his own insecurities?

"Both, you had all of these friends and I felt like I could never be good enough. No one wants to hang out with the greasy kid from Slytherin." he said sadly.

"Well whatever conditioner you're using right now is fantastic, gives your hair real body. Plus I never thought you were greasy you just don't go into the sun enough. It's free you know, anyone can access it." Lily felt better about talking things through with him, she saw a smile on his lips after she mentioned the low price of sunlight.

"Yes well we should go to the lake sometime soon, really get some sun" he said with a wolf's grin threatening to pull at his lips.

"Mmm yes Severus and not because you want to see me in a bikini."

They talked about their plans once they got back to school,

"You know there's always a dungeon or two available, we could start some sort of potions club where we just mess around and try to make stuff. I know a few Ravenclaw's from random studying trips in the library and you would probably like them." Lily suggested after taking a bite of her sandwich.

"Sounds good, plus Slughorn has a weird favoritism thing for you so if you asked to boil him into a potion he'd probably let you" Severus replied with a smirk at the corners of his lips.

"Ah, Severus, the comedian as always" Lily replied cheekily.

They talked about the kiss, obviously.

"I've just liked you for so long, I thought it was horrifyingly obvious by now. I'm willing to take it slow though, if you'll give me the chance." Severus said with a brave face but she saw the fear in his deep brown eyes.

"Sev, of course you'll get the chance. Hell you'll get a million chances if that's what you really want, I'm sorry it took me so long to notice how I felt." She replied with earnest.

"No, I got caught up with Malfoy and those tossers. I just wanted to impress you and I wanted to feel like I was a part of something. I thought Hogwarts would be my safe haven but it's like the Slytherins are the dungeon crawlers while everyone else is just above us. I hated being bullied at home by my dad so getting it at school too was unbearable. I was lured in by their false promises of power and wealth, I'll never forgive myself for calling you what I did." Severus said not looking away from her green almond eyes once,

"Severus Snape, you made a mistake then you rectified it. Stop beating yourself up over it, I've made mistakes too and when we get back to school I can fully explain everything to you. I'll need your understanding then too."

She knew she needed the Room of Requirement to fully reveal herself to him, she needed a pensive and time to pull important memories. Not even sure what memories from her past life she had left she almost needed to pull feelings and important events which would take a lot more time than planned. Not to mention she needed to find out where Helga Hufflepuff's goblet was currently and if Tom Riddle's diary was even in Malfoy's library.

There was a lot she needed to do but this right here, sitting with Severus laughing about that time they experimented with his mother's cauldron in the summer before 2nd year and turned his hair pink, this is what is important right now.

He walked her home after eating and talking, still holding hands it seemed like he was getting the courage to say something,

"I know there's something you're hiding from me. I was able to tell almost right away. After you gave me the chance to clean up my act and drop the Death Eaters something was different about you. I can't say I understand it but I'm trying to look at this with perspective. I'll give you a couple of months to sort it out and when we get back to school I know you'll give me the explanation I need. I hope you'll trust me to understand though." He said hesitantly.

"I know it's tough right now, Sev, but I love you. I love you in a way I can't quantify like numbers or measuring spoons. There's a connection there, something like a balancing act we have together. Trust me when the time is right I'll tell you everything." She said quietly, hoping to keep this moment inside of her forever. They were young and without great burdens. She was still just Lily Evans, the girl from his neighborhood and not Lily Potter the girl who needed a second life to right the wrongs she put him through in the last life. Not mother to James Potter's son or hunter of Voldemort's soul.

In this moment they were just slaphappy teenagers who had their first kiss in the back of a movie theater. So for right now that had to be enough.

'Please let this stick, please let him understand' she thought to herself feeling him twirl a particularly adventurous curl in between his long pale fingers.

When he leaned down to kiss her goodnight, she felt the spark or more like an all consuming humming feeling inside her. Like when a lorry is coming down the street and you feel it shaking you all over because you're laying down in the grass in front of your house.

'Yes, just this'


End file.
